“Each time I thought it couldn’t get any harder, then it did.”
In the midst of the unbearable pain, I continue trying to understand what “bearable” really means.
I can’t stand it
I can’t bear it
These expressions lead me nowhere if I’m not in prayer.
In prayer, I plead for relief.
But my plea comes from knowing that I am not the one who can bear anything.
“I can’t bear it” changes from a desperate cry from the torture chamber, to a liberating statement of truth. Christ is the only bearer. And I live in Christ. In every moment, may I remember that to the core of my being.
My suffering is being borne for me. The cry of “unbearable” only comes from confusion, even when it seems the most honest cry.
Relief of pain isn’t what it seems. The key is in my relationship with Christ, which develops within me through the gift of suffering. It has to be lived through.
When I can be with the pain and hear the Word of God ringing through it, that is the healing. Then the experience of physical pain somehow becomes less important, or shifts in some way.
Continuing the explorations in faith.
Christ is Risen!
May it Be Blessed: An Orthodox journal 