“Glory to God for all things” was spoken by St. John Chrysostom as he was dying in exile. We know that many martyrs have spoken praises to God while suffering tortures.
I used to hold these shining examples up as the highest achievement, examples to live by, but still unreachable.
I used to accept that My will and Thy will aren’t completely aligned yet, in my humble imperfection.
I used to accept that I’m on track with prayer, and now with the gift of Holy Sacraments, and all things will be granted in time.
But a life of prayer is also an active participation in every moment.
And what happens when “Do not despair” becomes impossible: My only option is to glorify God in a way that my suffering could not previously understand..
First there appears an inkling that the understanding of what it means to glorify God for ALL things including painful things, is more nuanced than I knew.
It means that I don’t need to just wait for a dramatic dose of grace to dazzle me with splendor.
It’s not an all or nothing, waiting in utter darkness for a bolt of lightning.
But this grace that answers all suffering is a subtle thing that grows in me as I open to it more and more, like the maturing of a relationship under the hardest pressure.
To say Glory to God, deeply from the heart, doesn’t mean that I am reveling in relief at the moment. Maybe I’m in great pain at the moment. But to glorify God is so much more than just an expression of gratitude for something seen as good. It’s an acknowledgment of the divine Good present in this situation, a truth that I cannot possibly judge at all. It’s learning to love, without limitations on love that wouldn’t be love.
So although I can not honestly say that My will is behind this seemingly terrible experience, it is possible and actually becomes imperative to glorify God in this very moment of suffering. This is a way in to the deeper experience of knowing God.
By waiting in despair, despair only feeds on itself. Maybe there is a part of the will that can choose to want salvation and allow for the process of coming into the light.
I don’t know these things yet. I’m still sorting through so much erroneous thought and aiming not to indulge the demonic thoughts. But clues about where the thoughts are coming from are becoming clearer.
“Where does this thought lead me?” is a helpful test. Often the answer is “down into the pit!”
That settles that!
Glory to God.
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“The soul is cleansed when it suffers sorrows for God’s sake.” – St. John Chrysostom
“Rejoice as you feel the cross on yourself, for it is a sign that you are following the Lord on the path of salvation which leads to heaven. Endure a bit. The end and the crowns are just around the corner!” – St. Theophan the Recluse, from Thoughts for Each Day of the Year
May it Be Blessed: An Orthodox journal 